One day my brother said he went to our uncle's house for easter.
I asked my uncle why he did not invite me over for easter. I always visited New York 4 times per year, during holidays.
He said he had been inviting my brother and sister over for years. They never even told me.
I will give you the short explanation. I did good in school, my mother would brag to relatives about how well I was doing, my sister was jealous perhaps she was 6 years old, and she started tormenting me, trying to get my parents to punish me.
For example coming into the living room, changing the channel on the tv, when I change it back she screams, and parent comes in and scolds me.
Another was she would wait in the hallways until the tv commercial, knowing I would go for a drink or the bathroom, and then refuse to let me pass, and scream until my parents scolded me.
what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
just going to give some examples of my sibling's behavior:
- my sister used the car to coerce me to move, while I was playing basketball in the driveway, a double driveway, because she refused to park on the street. And the neighbor's kid. She went inside. I made a joke to the neighbor's kid "I should move the car dow the block", my sister shouted out the window "move that car and you die", I drove it to the 3rd house down the street, and when I get home my father scolds me, and makes me look like the bad one. And you bet she tells everyone about how I moved the car, not about how she was a foot away from hitting me and the 10 year old neighbor in the driveway under the basketball hoop.
- my brother hit me with his car perhaps 3 times. he would turn the engine off, so you don't here it coming, and see me walking, and hit me from behind. I was never injured, and I get why it is funny, but it is also dangerous, and nothing I would have done to another person.
- I would ride my bike to my grandmother's house, and then when I would go home, it would be gone. my sister was taking it when I was inside grandma's house. after this happened a few times, I saw her ride off with it so I caught her in the act. so I started locking my bike. so my sister came up with a way to get my parents to demand I give her the cobination to the lock, and I had to give it to her.
- my sister used to grunt at the dinner table. she would just say "uhhhh". my mother (a very angry woman) would shout at her, "what do you want?". she said "david won't pass me the ketchup", and then my mother would yell at me to pass the ketchup. and it happened more than once. no one ever said I did nothing wrong, I was always the guilty one, my parents always punished me, they believed everything she ever said, even though she was always lying
- when I left for college, my sister claimed all of my personal possessions. A week in, I called (6 hours away) and said I wanted my bike and my camera (for my design class). my father said I'd have to ask my sister, and that's when I learned she was taking things, and she even took my room. they moved me into her room, decorated for a baby, and she took my room. they didn't even call me and ask if it is okay if they take anything. my binoculars were also taken.
basically, ever since my sister was like 4 years old, there was comlete animosity, and my parents always said it was my fault, so I was not allowed to visit my mother's family with my siblings, I had to stay with my father's family when they went. they got to go boat riding, swimming in the in ground pool, and visitmy uncles who I loved very much, and I just stayed watching soap operas and family fued with grandma.
- my sister used the car to coerce me to move, while I was playing basketball in the driveway, a double driveway, because she refused to park on the street. And the neighbor's kid. She went inside. I made a joke to the neighbor's kid "I should move the car dow the block", my sister shouted out the window "move that car and you die", I drove it to the 3rd house down the street, and when I get home my father scolds me, and makes me look like the bad one. And you bet she tells everyone about how I moved the car, not about how she was a foot away from hitting me and the 10 year old neighbor in the driveway under the basketball hoop.
- my brother hit me with his car perhaps 3 times. he would turn the engine off, so you don't here it coming, and see me walking, and hit me from behind. I was never injured, and I get why it is funny, but it is also dangerous, and nothing I would have done to another person.
- I would ride my bike to my grandmother's house, and then when I would go home, it would be gone. my sister was taking it when I was inside grandma's house. after this happened a few times, I saw her ride off with it so I caught her in the act. so I started locking my bike. so my sister came up with a way to get my parents to demand I give her the cobination to the lock, and I had to give it to her.
- my sister used to grunt at the dinner table. she would just say "uhhhh". my mother (a very angry woman) would shout at her, "what do you want?". she said "david won't pass me the ketchup", and then my mother would yell at me to pass the ketchup. and it happened more than once. no one ever said I did nothing wrong, I was always the guilty one, my parents always punished me, they believed everything she ever said, even though she was always lying
- when I left for college, my sister claimed all of my personal possessions. A week in, I called (6 hours away) and said I wanted my bike and my camera (for my design class). my father said I'd have to ask my sister, and that's when I learned she was taking things, and she even took my room. they moved me into her room, decorated for a baby, and she took my room. they didn't even call me and ask if it is okay if they take anything. my binoculars were also taken.
basically, ever since my sister was like 4 years old, there was comlete animosity, and my parents always said it was my fault, so I was not allowed to visit my mother's family with my siblings, I had to stay with my father's family when they went. they got to go boat riding, swimming in the in ground pool, and visitmy uncles who I loved very much, and I just stayed watching soap operas and family fued with grandma.
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
I had a best friend named Julie. We got along great. played board games, sports, etc.
My sister was 4 years younger. she got jealous but I was just a kid so I didn't notice.
Julie had a single mom, and when her mom went on a date (to a man she married), Julie would come over or stay over.
When Julie was over our house, it was like a war started, they just teased me and picked on me, and when she left, all the fighting ended.
Julie is an only child so she did not know what it is like to have siblings.
so after a few times of this, I figured it out. they were fighting with me when julie came over. julie di dnot understand that the fight was fake and manufactured, she thought it was a real argument over something.
my mother said "I wish Julie were my daughter instead of me her son". and I was crushed, so I resented julie, I was at least in 7th grade, not knowing that my sister had ruined our friendship. from that point on, julie was friends with joanne and not me, but then she moved shortly after when her mother remarried.
Julie got married to another friend of mine from high school. One day we were at their apartment, my siblings, julie, her husband, and my father. they wanted to play scrabble. julie and her husband on one team, my siblings on another, and me alone. the first thing my sister says is my name, my brother laughs, and they put down their first word, "anal".
that's my siblings.
My sister was 4 years younger. she got jealous but I was just a kid so I didn't notice.
Julie had a single mom, and when her mom went on a date (to a man she married), Julie would come over or stay over.
When Julie was over our house, it was like a war started, they just teased me and picked on me, and when she left, all the fighting ended.
Julie is an only child so she did not know what it is like to have siblings.
so after a few times of this, I figured it out. they were fighting with me when julie came over. julie di dnot understand that the fight was fake and manufactured, she thought it was a real argument over something.
my mother said "I wish Julie were my daughter instead of me her son". and I was crushed, so I resented julie, I was at least in 7th grade, not knowing that my sister had ruined our friendship. from that point on, julie was friends with joanne and not me, but then she moved shortly after when her mother remarried.
Julie got married to another friend of mine from high school. One day we were at their apartment, my siblings, julie, her husband, and my father. they wanted to play scrabble. julie and her husband on one team, my siblings on another, and me alone. the first thing my sister says is my name, my brother laughs, and they put down their first word, "anal".
that's my siblings.
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
I:
- bought a second car for my brother to use
- let my brother use my cars for years
- over the years he probably did $20,000 in damages to the cars
- took my brother out for dinner and movies on a regular basis, sometimes daily
- bought my sister her dining room set, and living room set (leather sofas, leather recliners, antique bookshelves)
- offered to by my sister a new minivan because she said she wanted one
- offered to pay to renovate her kitchen (her father in law paid for it)
- bought new clothes for her kids, toys (nintendo wii), 2 dvd players for the car, etc because my sister could not afford to
- offered to buy her a piano (she refused, but later acquired one probably from the father in law)
- offered to take her, the 3 kids, mothe rin law, and husband to disney world, I would pay for everything (she went without telling me a few years later)
- took her family out to dinner every time I visited, about once per month
- drove 3 hours round trip to deliver frozen blueberries to her because she called my father and asked for them
- was considering offering to pay off her mortgage on her house, about $90,000
- was considering buying her an inground swimming pool for the kids
My brother and sister wanted to buy my father a new wireless phone, a new TV, and something else. We agreed I would pay half, and they would pay half. We went to the store, and I just paid for everything. It was not that expensive, under $300.
Some people do not appreciate what others do for them, and although I could afford to buy her those items, I am glad I did not make the big mistake of paying her mortgage and car not knowing she still hated me. I thought she had changed, but I was wrong.
- bought a second car for my brother to use
- let my brother use my cars for years
- over the years he probably did $20,000 in damages to the cars
- took my brother out for dinner and movies on a regular basis, sometimes daily
- bought my sister her dining room set, and living room set (leather sofas, leather recliners, antique bookshelves)
- offered to by my sister a new minivan because she said she wanted one
- offered to pay to renovate her kitchen (her father in law paid for it)
- bought new clothes for her kids, toys (nintendo wii), 2 dvd players for the car, etc because my sister could not afford to
- offered to buy her a piano (she refused, but later acquired one probably from the father in law)
- offered to take her, the 3 kids, mothe rin law, and husband to disney world, I would pay for everything (she went without telling me a few years later)
- took her family out to dinner every time I visited, about once per month
- drove 3 hours round trip to deliver frozen blueberries to her because she called my father and asked for them
- was considering offering to pay off her mortgage on her house, about $90,000
- was considering buying her an inground swimming pool for the kids
My brother and sister wanted to buy my father a new wireless phone, a new TV, and something else. We agreed I would pay half, and they would pay half. We went to the store, and I just paid for everything. It was not that expensive, under $300.
Some people do not appreciate what others do for them, and although I could afford to buy her those items, I am glad I did not make the big mistake of paying her mortgage and car not knowing she still hated me. I thought she had changed, but I was wrong.
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
I am only writing this in case her kids have any questions. I moved on a long time ago.
Here is the answer: my sister lived near my father's family, parents and aunts, so they knew all the bad things she did. She isolated my father, me, and his family from her husband and kids, so we would not tell them all the bad things she did. I could have written a detailed letter to her in laws, alerting them, I could have done it, but I didn't.
when I was around 26 years old, my sister sent me a 1 or 2 page letter admitting to me that she was a bad sister, and wanted me to forgive her. I could have laminated the letter and saved it for the rest of my life, but I didn't. I read it once, forgave her, and threw the letter away about 10 minutes after reading it.
my brother called me over the phone and asked me to reconcile with him, and I did. I forgave him and started talking to him again.
I am not writing this to shove anything in anyone's face, just to keep the memory if my nieces and nephews ever inquire.
Here is the answer: my sister lived near my father's family, parents and aunts, so they knew all the bad things she did. She isolated my father, me, and his family from her husband and kids, so we would not tell them all the bad things she did. I could have written a detailed letter to her in laws, alerting them, I could have done it, but I didn't.
when I was around 26 years old, my sister sent me a 1 or 2 page letter admitting to me that she was a bad sister, and wanted me to forgive her. I could have laminated the letter and saved it for the rest of my life, but I didn't. I read it once, forgave her, and threw the letter away about 10 minutes after reading it.
my brother called me over the phone and asked me to reconcile with him, and I did. I forgave him and started talking to him again.
I am not writing this to shove anything in anyone's face, just to keep the memory if my nieces and nephews ever inquire.
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
when my niece was I think 2 years old, my sister and her husband and kid came for christmas dinner at my grandmother's house.
when she arrived, my aunt was so excited she went and got all the presents and brought them out. before she finished bringing them out, my sister and her husband hand't even taken off their coat or walked into the living room, I was still in the foyer, she said "NO NO NO" and left and never spoke to my aunt again.
the reason why she did this is because my aunt is poor, yet very caring, so she does not buy the types of gifts that meet my sister's quality standards. she was embarassed over what the gifts might be, in front of her husband. she calls my aunts and grandmother 'the munster family'.
mu aunt shops all year round for gifts. she has 30 nieces and nephews. she said they have a birthday every week. she buys cheap gifts, and keeps them in a room filled with gifts. when she needs to give a gif, she does not buy one, she goes into the room and picks a gift and wraps it. I don't know where she buys her gifts, but almost everything is clearly brand new but looks like it was made in the 1970's. that's it. in the mid 1980's she would give us 1970's style shirts, pants, coloring books, board games. she buys at garage sales and flea markets and old store closeouts.
I did not like the gifts but I still said thankyou, and second, I just gave her a list of stuff I wanted and she bought items off that list so I was always happy from that point onwards. I would ask for things like white tshirts, white socks, 1 pair of blue jeans, snickers bars, crossword books, etc. always happy to get a crossword book for christmas. and I never remembered what was on the list.
when she arrived, my aunt was so excited she went and got all the presents and brought them out. before she finished bringing them out, my sister and her husband hand't even taken off their coat or walked into the living room, I was still in the foyer, she said "NO NO NO" and left and never spoke to my aunt again.
the reason why she did this is because my aunt is poor, yet very caring, so she does not buy the types of gifts that meet my sister's quality standards. she was embarassed over what the gifts might be, in front of her husband. she calls my aunts and grandmother 'the munster family'.
mu aunt shops all year round for gifts. she has 30 nieces and nephews. she said they have a birthday every week. she buys cheap gifts, and keeps them in a room filled with gifts. when she needs to give a gif, she does not buy one, she goes into the room and picks a gift and wraps it. I don't know where she buys her gifts, but almost everything is clearly brand new but looks like it was made in the 1970's. that's it. in the mid 1980's she would give us 1970's style shirts, pants, coloring books, board games. she buys at garage sales and flea markets and old store closeouts.
I did not like the gifts but I still said thankyou, and second, I just gave her a list of stuff I wanted and she bought items off that list so I was always happy from that point onwards. I would ask for things like white tshirts, white socks, 1 pair of blue jeans, snickers bars, crossword books, etc. always happy to get a crossword book for christmas. and I never remembered what was on the list.
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