I have a dishonest sibling. When my father died, she engaged in a series of behaviors that showed she remains dishonest as an adult, just as she did as a child. She attempted multiple times to deceive me, and steal from me.
As an example, I asked my brother when we could meet with our sister to talk about my father's house. He said he had Thursday off. I then asked my sister if she could meet with me and our brother on Thursday, and she said no because she was busy.
On Thursday, my brother said I had to go to the funeral home to sign some papers. The funeral home is 4 miles from where my brother and I were staying. When I got there, my sister was there. She knew she had the appointment near where we lived, and she lied about being busy.
When I entered the funeral home, I noticed a sign at the entrance and read it. It had my father's name on it. I walked into a large empty funeral room. All the seats were empty. I saw an open casket and walked across the room. My father's dead body was in the casket. My siblings didn't even tell me that I could see my father in the casket, they told me he was being cremated.
In addition, they did not tell me or other family members that there was viewing of the deceased at the funeral home. So only 4 of us total were there.
I was in the room for about 30 minutes. The whole time, my brother and sister were laughing in the office while the funeral home owner was preparing paperwork. The paperwork from my understanding was to pay for the funeral service using life insurance or other assets.
When I went to my father's house, around 5pm my aunt showed up at my father's house. When she walked in the door, I asked her if she went to the funeral home to see my father in the casket. She said "What?". I was shocked and offended that my sister, brother, and other aunt did not inform me or even their aunt of the funeral viewing. My aunt also believed he was being cremated.
I asked my other aunt, and she lied to me about telling my aunt what was going on.
That's an example of how my sister was dishonest and disrespectful.
what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
My aunt called and said they wanted to have a dinner after the funeral which was being held at the cemetary. They picked a restaurant.
They wanted to split the cost between me, my aunt, and my sister.
They said $500.
I asked, "did you invite Joe?", "did you invite the relatives from Batavia?", "did you invite his cousin?". She said yes.
After the ceremoney at the cemetary, we went to dinner and ate dinner. My aunt said I had to pay $450. I asked, how is it I owe $450 if the bill is $500 and we are splitting it 3 ways? That was not the deal. I said half of $500 is $250, my share is one third, which is $167. She said the bill is $900 and we are splitting it in half (I pay one half, they pay the oher half). I said you told me the bill was $500, why do you now say it is $900? She said because of the people *I* invited. I said I did not invite anyone. She said the relatives from Batavia, his cousin, and his friend from work were *my* invitation.
So my sister only invited my mother's family (my parents are divorced), and refused to invite a single of my father's relatives or friends.
My sister also invited her friends from high school, who my father did not know.
I then went and paid $900 for the dinner.
And we never spoke of it again.
Both my sister, brother, and aunt were lying to me many times and in many ways.
They wanted to split the cost between me, my aunt, and my sister.
They said $500.
I asked, "did you invite Joe?", "did you invite the relatives from Batavia?", "did you invite his cousin?". She said yes.
After the ceremoney at the cemetary, we went to dinner and ate dinner. My aunt said I had to pay $450. I asked, how is it I owe $450 if the bill is $500 and we are splitting it 3 ways? That was not the deal. I said half of $500 is $250, my share is one third, which is $167. She said the bill is $900 and we are splitting it in half (I pay one half, they pay the oher half). I said you told me the bill was $500, why do you now say it is $900? She said because of the people *I* invited. I said I did not invite anyone. She said the relatives from Batavia, his cousin, and his friend from work were *my* invitation.
So my sister only invited my mother's family (my parents are divorced), and refused to invite a single of my father's relatives or friends.
My sister also invited her friends from high school, who my father did not know.
I then went and paid $900 for the dinner.
And we never spoke of it again.
Both my sister, brother, and aunt were lying to me many times and in many ways.
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
I asked my brother what happened to my computer desk, dresser, etc. He said he and my sister sold it. They sold all of my possessions at the house, kept themoney for themselves, and did not tell me. It was furniture that I used when I visited. I was living overseas at the time.
I asked my brother where my gold jewelry was. He said he sold all the gold at the pawnshop. He sad my mother took the jewelry that belonged to me.
I did not receive any compensation for my gold watch, chains, and pendants, now was I told my items were removed.
I asked my brother where my gold jewelry was. He said he sold all the gold at the pawnshop. He sad my mother took the jewelry that belonged to me.
I did not receive any compensation for my gold watch, chains, and pendants, now was I told my items were removed.
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
My father died on a Friday. I arrived in the US on Sunday at 1pm.
All of my personal possessions stored at my father's house were piled high on the bed, or in the garbage in front of the house, including gifts my aunt left for me when I was gone.
So I saw the garbage but did not rummage through it until I noticed stuff missing. I saw bags with my name on it, from my aunt, wih unopenned gifts inside.
All of my winter clothing was stored in a alrge suitcase, because they are not needed when I was overseas or out of state, including my blue jeans. All gone. The suitcase was empty. Some were brand new or hardly worn.
All my documents, such as my birth certificate which arrived in the mail, were gone. My sister admitted she threw away my mail.
I asked my brother and he looked away and admitted my sister did it.
I asked my sister and she said my father was going crazy, and he must have done it. He must have pulled the heavy packed large suitcase from the back corner of the closet and thrown all the clothes out. There were 7 garbage bags of clothes in the dining room that my sister put old clothes in, to throw away, and I found my clothes in there. My sister said my father must have been wearing my clothing and mixed it with his. She was lying.
All of my personal possessions stored at my father's house were piled high on the bed, or in the garbage in front of the house, including gifts my aunt left for me when I was gone.
So I saw the garbage but did not rummage through it until I noticed stuff missing. I saw bags with my name on it, from my aunt, wih unopenned gifts inside.
All of my winter clothing was stored in a alrge suitcase, because they are not needed when I was overseas or out of state, including my blue jeans. All gone. The suitcase was empty. Some were brand new or hardly worn.
All my documents, such as my birth certificate which arrived in the mail, were gone. My sister admitted she threw away my mail.
I asked my brother and he looked away and admitted my sister did it.
I asked my sister and she said my father was going crazy, and he must have done it. He must have pulled the heavy packed large suitcase from the back corner of the closet and thrown all the clothes out. There were 7 garbage bags of clothes in the dining room that my sister put old clothes in, to throw away, and I found my clothes in there. My sister said my father must have been wearing my clothing and mixed it with his. She was lying.
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
I asked my sister what happened to my belongings. For weeks she did not respond.
3 weeks later, I asked her again. I asked her what did she do with my stuff.
She responded by saying that she forbade me from seeing her kids again, because she does not want me to bring chaos into their lives.
3 weeks later, I asked her again. I asked her what did she do with my stuff.
She responded by saying that she forbade me from seeing her kids again, because she does not want me to bring chaos into their lives.
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
My sister made all the funeral arrangements the day after my father died, before I was on the plane to return home, perhaps a 17 hour flight.
Because she lied and said he was being cremated, I did not know he was actually buried without a gravestone. He got the free plaque from the government.
They didn't even tell me, or my father's immediate family, where the gravesite was.
Because she lied and said he was being cremated, I did not know he was actually buried without a gravestone. He got the free plaque from the government.
They didn't even tell me, or my father's immediate family, where the gravesite was.
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
One day I asked my brother what was going on with the house.
He said the bank foreclosed on it a year earlier.
I checked the bank records and it was correct.
They did this to deceive me, and to hide finances, such as items that were sold.
He said the bank foreclosed on it a year earlier.
I checked the bank records and it was correct.
They did this to deceive me, and to hide finances, such as items that were sold.
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
After my father died, I stayed at his house for a few weeks.
One morning I woke up, and my sister was packing valuables into a box.
I asked her what she was doing, she said she was cleaning.
I said it looks liek you are packing.
She insisted she was cleaning.
I said you have no cleaning materials, no cleaning rag, no cleaning solution, you are packing these items into this box.
She started breaking down, she called her mother and brother to complain.
I went outside and her car was reversed in the driveway, with the rear door of the SUV propped up, with lots of empty cardboard boxes inside.
She accused me of wanting to 'sign the papers', she mimed signing paper on the table very quickly, she accused me of wanting to sell everything for myself, which is nonsense.
I told her I live in another country and have no use for any possessions in the house.
I went back inside, and I heard my brother tell her over the phone to just leave.
She had already taken the family photos down, including the photos of me. She picked 1 item, the phone of her, and left.
I remained calm the whole time, because I lived in another country, and had no attachment to the possessions in the house, and would be more than happy for my siblings to take everything because I am not petty.
At this time, I di dnot know she had taken all of my clothing or threw some of my stuff in the garbage, I was very confused by her behavior.
One morning I woke up, and my sister was packing valuables into a box.
I asked her what she was doing, she said she was cleaning.
I said it looks liek you are packing.
She insisted she was cleaning.
I said you have no cleaning materials, no cleaning rag, no cleaning solution, you are packing these items into this box.
She started breaking down, she called her mother and brother to complain.
I went outside and her car was reversed in the driveway, with the rear door of the SUV propped up, with lots of empty cardboard boxes inside.
She accused me of wanting to 'sign the papers', she mimed signing paper on the table very quickly, she accused me of wanting to sell everything for myself, which is nonsense.
I told her I live in another country and have no use for any possessions in the house.
I went back inside, and I heard my brother tell her over the phone to just leave.
She had already taken the family photos down, including the photos of me. She picked 1 item, the phone of her, and left.
I remained calm the whole time, because I lived in another country, and had no attachment to the possessions in the house, and would be more than happy for my siblings to take everything because I am not petty.
At this time, I di dnot know she had taken all of my clothing or threw some of my stuff in the garbage, I was very confused by her behavior.
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
My brother said she wanted blue jeans so she could make a denim blanket. So I assume that is what she did.
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olderbrother
Re: what happens when you have a dishonest sibling
When I was outside the country, before my father died, my sister wanted to pull the plug on him, I am the only one who said no.
I asked to see the death certificate but never saw it.
They told me he died anyway, I don't know if he died naturally or not.
Keep in mind, my sister lives 1.5 hours away from my father's house. One day, she showed up and took the dog to the vet. My father started crying, and I asked why, and he said she had decided to have the dog (who had been living with my father for 12 years perhaps) euthanized.
I had been there at the house for a while and did not observe any reason why he should be euthanized, in fact he was just as energetic as he ever was.
My sister does not value human life, nor respect the life of animals.
I asked to see the death certificate but never saw it.
They told me he died anyway, I don't know if he died naturally or not.
Keep in mind, my sister lives 1.5 hours away from my father's house. One day, she showed up and took the dog to the vet. My father started crying, and I asked why, and he said she had decided to have the dog (who had been living with my father for 12 years perhaps) euthanized.
I had been there at the house for a while and did not observe any reason why he should be euthanized, in fact he was just as energetic as he ever was.
My sister does not value human life, nor respect the life of animals.
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